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We
walked out of the room and instead of letting him lead me to the cafeteria
immediately afterwards. I waited for the trail of people to leave and stood in
front of him.
“Umm,
Kalliope…” he said.
“Yes,
Lysander,” I said.
“What
are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m
blocking your path,” I said.
“I
can just go around you,” he said.
“No,
you can’t,” I said and of course he tried going around me, but then seeing that
I wasn't trying to stop him, he stayed where he was.
“Well,
why are you blocking me?” he asked.
“Because
you’re going to tell me what you were thinking about inside the classroom,” I
said.
“That’s
what this is about,” he said with a hint of displeasure in his voice.
“Yes,”
I said.
“Can’t
we go get food first,” he said.
“I’m
not hungry today,” I said.
“But…Don’t
you want to talk about it outside,” he said.
“Too
many people,” I said.
“Well,
why do you want to know?!” he said raising his voice at me. It didn't scare me
though.
“Well,
because we’re friends,” I said.
“Friends
don’t know everything about each other,” he said finding a place in the
building to sit down in. I sat with him and started swinging my feet back and
forth.
“How
can you say that we’re close then if you can’t even tell me what was bothering
you in class?” I asked him with a smile.
“Well,
I don’t know. I’m sure the closest of married couples don’t even tell each
other their deepest, darkest secrets,” he said.
“Oh,
so it’s a deep and dark secret,” I said shaking my finger in front of me.
“NO!”
he yelled.
“Then
why are you being so defensive?” I asked.
“Okay,
so it’s a deep, dark secret,” he said. “But I really don’t want to tell you.”
“Why?”
I asked.
“Because,
you’ll think differently of me,” he said. “And I really don’t want that…”
“Lysander…I
don’t think that I’d think differently of you so much,” I said. “Sure maybe
just a little, but not really”
“Umm,
can’t you just give me a little bit of time,” he said.
“You’re
just hoping I’ll forget that this happened,” I said.
“NO!”
he yelled again.
“Then
why are you being so defensive?” I repeated.
“I…I’m
not,” he said tilting his head backwards and I could see that his eyes were
getting watery and I felt even a little bad.
I
took his hand in mine and simply said, “Sorry,” and walked away.
When
I went outside, Malerei spotted me and came over. “Hey, where’s Lysander?”
“I
don’t really know,” I said. We were walking to an empty table and then Lysander
comes out of nowhere. Honestly, it was as if lightning hit the spot he was at
and his particles magically formed.
“SORRY
MALEREI BUT I’M TAKING HER!” he yelled dragging me away.
“So,
you’ve decided to tell me,” I said.
“Well,
yes,” he said. “But we have to be quick about it. It’s in my room.”
“In
your room?” I said nervous that he was taking me to his room alone.
“Yes,
yes,” he said. “I know I was acting like a child earlier, but you doing that
for me, well, it showed me you cared.”
“Yeah,
I do care,” I said. We walked so fast that I couldn't feel my feet and then he
took me to his room where one side was well kempt and the other side was not.
“Look,
Kalliope, you know music is my passion. My one and only passion,” he said
gazing upwards as though he were remembering something. “When we were in class
I was thinking of how terrible a person I am!”
“Well,
what did you do?” I asked him.
“Nothing
in my eyes, but then I look back at it and I still remember that day. Well,
listen up Kalliope, because I’ll only tell you once. The children who go to
school here live with their parents up until high school. When they get in high
school, they can choose whether they’ll live in the dorms or not. So before
that when I was living with my parents, they praised me. They adored me. Most
especially though, they told me to practice. Practice, practice, practice!
Actually, for a little while I secluded myself from them because them telling
me to practice from the time I got back home to the time I slept was driving me
insane. I hated them so much that at my last performance, the performance that
would change my life for the better of for the worst, I told them all the
feelings I had toward them. I said to them as I was playing my violin the most
hurtful words I could think of.”
At
that moment, he recounted the whole story, I could imagine it happening as
though I had lived that moment with him and everyone in the audience. Him
hitting the first chord on the violin and then playing with such precision that
the audience immediately gasped in awe at this boy who was so very young, yet
played so very well. “And to my parents, who seem to adore me. Well, I think
they are horrid little monsters who only had one child. I have no playmates to
distract me from what I need to do. They said, you don’t need a distraction our
goal is for you to play. No friends for you ever Sander, no friends for you to
play. If you ever acquire friends, Sander, please throw them all away. Not that
I ever liked having friends, my instruments are who I love, because my parents
are nothing but trash that I had to live amongst. There was a day when my
fingers felt like they’d fall off, but I had to play piano or else my dad would
slap me for doing something wrong. The days that I don’t go and practice my
vocals are the days my mom decides to starve me. The days I don’t play my
lovely violin, are the days that I’ll be crying because my parents will scold
me if I grin. I never get a break to be just a kid, but I guess I have to
pretend to love my parents because they always have to win. How childish of
them! I thought I was the child, but no I’m not, sadly they took that away from
me. Now I’m almost finished and I’m sure now you’re astonished. Especially, Mr.
and Mrs. Keen who wished from the start I would have diminished.”
“Wow,”
I said looking at him.
“Well,
see I was simply thinking of that,” he said. “But I feel absolutely horrible.
My parents haven’t called me ever since that day and I don’t even think they go
to my shows anymore. They've…disowned me.”
“I
don’t think differently of you,” I said. “In fact, it’s good that you stood up
for yourself. You can’t let someone control you forever.”
“Yes,
but I feel so disgusting inside. Maybe I am supposed to practice until it
hurts, because if it doesn't hurt then it must not work,” he said.
“Nonsense,”
I said. “You need to practice until you feel like it. Also, you need to give
yourself breaks or else you’re going to feel like dying.”
“I
suppose you’re right,” he said.
“I’m
just trying to help,” I said looking up at him and then he tilted my face
towards his and we almost came close to kissing, but then he stopped.
“No,
no, you’re about to kiss me because you feel bad for me at this moment,” he said.
“Actually, now I know how to make you kiss me.”
“Actually,
no, I thought you were really sexy for what you did, but if that’s how you took
it then I’m glad you don’t want to kiss me,” I said.
“But
you wanted to kiss me,” he said.
“No,
not really, but I figured that if you were going to kiss me, it would have been
an okay moment to do so,” I said.
“Can
I kiss you now?” he asked.
“No,
you ruined the moment,” I told him.
“Dammit!”
he said pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Yeah,
you missed your chance, but I had a feeling you’d stop yourself,” I said.
“Really?”
he said laughing.
“Yeah,
you enjoy the chase, don’t you?” I asked.
“NO!”
he said.
“De!
Fen! Sive!” I told him.
“No,”
he said calmer.
“Sure,
whatever,” I said.
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We
walked to our next class both with big smiles on our faces, so while people
passed us they looked at us strangely. “Lysander, did you finally fuck her?!”
It was a boy who was looking at me with the same expression as Lysander would
have looked at me at that moment.
“Who’s
this?” I asked Lysander just staring at the guy like this was normal. I even
smiled at him, which made him blush.
“Wow,
she’s everything you described and more,” the guy said.
“I
know right!” Lysander said. “Umm, Kalliope, this is Aloysius.”
“But
you can call me alloy, cuz I get as hard as metal when I see you,” he said.
“Wow,
did you make that one up or are you normally that stupid?” I told him glaring
at him. If Lysander had said it, it wouldn't have been a problem, except Lysander wouldn't say that, so it was a problem.
“Wow,
I see why Lysander likes you,” Aloysius said. “You could call me Sius, cuz I See us together.”
“No,
you couldn’t see us together, because I’d avoid you,” I said.
“You’re
good at comebacks,” he said. “That’s hot.”
“I’m
aware,” I said.
“We
have our next class together,” he said.
“Film?”
I said.
“Yes,
and you will be glad to know that I am the star student in the class,” he said.
“Bragging
about it won’t make me like you,” I said.
“I
guess not, but a guy’s gotta try. Especially when it’s a girl this awesome,” he
said.
“I’m
not that awesome and I’m taken,” I
said stressing the word taken on purpose not only to tell him to back off, but
to tell Lysander that I wasn't leaving him any time soon. I was close to him,
which I hated, but it was refreshing.
“I
know you’re taken. I wouldn't take Lysander’s girl anyway. I’d just stare at
her from afar and he wouldn't get mad at me, because he’d know his girl was that hot.”
“Yeah,
it’s the gentlemen’s code,” Lysander said and then I laughed.
“Gentlemen’s
code, you two are not even close to being gentlemen,” I said.
“Well,
we take it upon ourselves to be much more eccentric than the other boys at this
school,” Aloysius said.
“Yes,
the more eccentricism you possess, the more of a gentleman you are. Notice how
all the boys these days all act one way, well that’s a bro and we are sirs,”
Lysander said pretending to adjust a bow or a tie or a bowtie.
I
smiled and then we all sat down together in the film class. “Today class we
will be watching the first part of Metropolis.”
“That
movie’s great. A must-see,” Aloysius said. “Do you like that movie?”
“Yeah,
it’s my favorite movie,” I said.
“Wow,
really!” Lysander said. “Us too!”
“So
are you two best friends,” I said. “Because if some girl told me this was their
favorite movie, I’d be their best friend.”
“No,
no, we’re bosom buddies,” Lysander corrected me.
I
laughed and then the teacher started the movie halfway after class started and
we sat there just watching. It was great, it was just how I remembered it.
Then
of course, the bell rang and we all left.
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After
class I walked with Lysander and the boy who I decided I could call Alloy since
I didn't want to call him by his full name and I wasn't going to call him Sius.
“You
should go on his show, it’s really fun,” Alloy said.
“Well,
he told me that already, but I’m not used to school yet,” I explained.
“I
don’t think that matters,” he replied.
“Exactly
what I try to tell her,” Lysander said.
“Oh,
look, you have two boyfriends now. You’re such a whore,” Piper said as we
passed by her.
“I’m
so sick of you trying to make me look bad,” I yelled at her. “Have you ever
once tried looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, ‘Huh, maybe
something’s wrong with me?!’ If you haven’t you should!”
“Oh,
look who wants to act all tough now when she walked out of the bathroom
earlier,” Piper said.
“I
walked out of the bathroom, because I’m smart enough to sense trouble when it’s
right in front of me,” I said.
She
rolled her eyes and smirked like she knew something I didn't and simply walked
away.
“I
don’t like that girl,” I said.
“What
are you going to do about it?” Aloysius asked me like I should be doing
something about it. In fact, I really should. I can’t not stand my ground or else I’ll become weak and she will have won
the game. I don’t even know why I consider it a game, but it truly is. High school
is a game that you must conquer, but of course there are other challenges you
have to defeat along the way. Piper is one of mine.
“I
don’t know,” I said.
“Surely,
you have too. I've done it quite a lot, so if you need help then you must come
to me,” Lysander said.
“What
do you expect me to poison her or something?” I asked him.
“No,
not at all,” he said. “But to be honest, you've got make her life a bit bitter,
don’t you think?”
“No,
I don’t think, because then I will have stooped to her level,” I said.
“Ah,
so you have morals,” Lysander said. “I understand, but surely you cannot let
her treat you like that.”
“I’m
not going to let her. I will fight her with my words everyday if I have to,” I
said.
“It’s
not worth it to waste your breath on her, though,” Lysander said.
“I
don’t even know anymore. I thought everyone at this school was accepting of
each other,” I told them.
“Accepting?!
As if, we’re rather judgmental, in fact prejudiced people. For example, the
music kids all judge each other on who is better, who is worse, whose hand
technique is better, and whose performance shines the brightest. Do you
understand? But we also are very prejudiced on each other, the singers dare not
hang around the violin performers and vice versa. I don’t even understand why
it has to be that way, but we do that. If you notice everyone here has small
groups of friends, well, they are all organized in different groups. The
photographers, the writers, the dancers, the poets, etcetera. It annoys me in
fact to see them all like that, but it’s just the way the school works. Many
people hang around people who aren't part of their group, like Malerei and you
for example, but it is very rare and even so they are silently judging each
other. Usually friendships or relationships like that don’t last very long
unless both people have enough sense to realize what love is.”
“I
can see that now,” I said.
As
we started walking Aloysius whispered something in Lysander’s ear and left us
by ourselves.
“Oh,
what happened?” I asked.
“I’m
not even sure, he just mumbled imperceptible words. I’m not even sure he said
anything. Literally, all I could make out was the word ‘jabberwocky’ and I’m
pretty sure he didn't even say that.” Lysander was laughing the whole time as
he said it.
“Haha,
well at least we’re alone now,” I said.
He
blushed and looked at me like I was crazy, “You want to be alone with me?!”
“I
mean yeah sure,” I said. “You’re someone I could talk to at 2 a.m. in the
morning and never bore of. You could just be there and I would enjoy the
silence.”
“Oh,
Kalliope, you’re too kind,” he said blushing with his hands over his cheeks.
“I
know. You’re making me soft Lysander. I never used to be this way. I’m an
introvert and I never like making conversation with people, I never like being
with people, but you. You are someone I want to have a conversation with,
someone I want to be around with. It’s weird, how life is working out this
way.”
“Kiss???”
he said.
“Then
you ruin the moment,” I said. “But it does keep everything lighthearted. I wouldn't be able to stand a serious and deep relationship for very long. I
would want it to be carefree and relaxed every once in a while. Mostly, all the
time. The serious and deep parts would be kept to a minimum and the romantic
parts would be whenever we felt like it.”
“WE?!” he asked me almost ecstatic.
“Yeah,
we, as in the royal we,” I said bursting his bubble. His face after that was so
precious. He looked genuinely hurt, but I knew he was only pretending.
“Oh,
why, must it be the royal we, when it could be you and me!” Lysander joked.
“Well,
it could be you and me one day,” I said. “But like I said we’ve only known each
other for three days.”
“Ah,
so tomorrow we can kiss, because surely four days is a good amount,” Lysander
said.
“Wow,
you’re crazy!” I said. “Walk me to my room, yo.”
“Yo?” he asked me laughing.
“Yeah,”
I said rolling my eyes dumbly.
“Well,
I will surely walk you to your room…yo,” he said.
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When
I reached my room, Teagan was there and she immediately looked up from her book
to me.
“Dude,
why didn't you tell me in the morning what Piper did?!” she said. “Everyone in
class is talking about you like your some disgusting pervert!”
“I didn't feel like talking about her in the morning and I was sure you’d find out
anyways,” I said. “I just don’t even want to worry about her right now.”
“Piper’s
a piece of shit who needs to get her head straight. Just so you know, she’s
probably intimidated by you. Someone new to school who’s being noticed. She doesn't like that and so she’s trying to break you down. You can’t take that
from her. You have to rise above it. Trust me, she will leave you alone if you
stand up to her. Maybe she won’t. I've never had firsthand experience with her,
but I can tell you she’s a total fuck face.”
Her
language surprised me, she didn't seem to be one to use such words.
“Yeah,
I know,” I replied. “I hate her so much right now.”
“I
know how you can get back at her,” Teagan said. “You know about the shows we
have hear right?”
“Yeah,
what about them?” I asked.
“She
always performs and you perform well so I've heard, just show her up like that.
She will probably hate you even more, but you’ll be satisfied and truly I think
that’s all that matters,” Teagan explained.
“That’s
a great idea,” I said.
Then
someone knocked on our door. I got up to open it and it was Seymour. He looked
at me and then he looked away, but then almost immediately he looked back at me
and started hitting himself on the head with his hand as if he’d done something
wrong.
“Umm,
hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” I said. He almost nearly needed to gasp for
air when I started talking to him.
“Please,
don’t hyperventilate,” I said trying to calm him down, but he seemed to get
even worse. “Dude, your brother is freaking out.”
“Seymour,”
Teagan said. “Chill, chill.”
“Yeah,
Teagan,” he said in his meek voice. “Umm, hi, your name is Kalliope correct?”
“Correct,”
I said.
“Well,
here, I made these cookies for you, because you were very kind to me the other
day and maybe one day I can stand up for you, but for now all I can give you is
these cookies.”
“Oh,
wow, thanks,” I said hugging him and then he started to freak out again.
“SEYMOUR!”
Teagan yelled at him.
“Yeah,
chill, chill,” he said. “Umm, so you’re welcome and umm thanks again for
standing up for me.”
“Sure,
we’re friends now though, right?” I asked him.
“Friends?
But wouldn't your boyfriend get mad at me. Lysander is your boyfriend, right?
He’s going to get mad at me. He’s like going to beat me up, I bet,” he said.
“He
wouldn’t do that and if he did I’d beat him up,” I said.
“Wow,
really,” he said. “For me?”
“Yeah,”
I said.
“Wow,
just wow. So, bye…” he said.
“Bye,”
I said and then he awkwardly walked away looking back at me every other step he
took and then blushing when he saw I was still watching. After a while, he just
started running and then he tripped, but he got up and started running again as
if that hadn't happened.
“Umm,
so yeah, my brother’s a little awkward but…gotta love him right!” Teagan said.
“Of
course,” I said with a giggle. “This was really sweet of him.”
“Taste
it, let’s see if it was really sweet
of him,” Teagan said.
I
took a bite out of one and it had an unexplainable flavor. It wasn't bad, but
it wasn't good either…it was interesting.
“Do
you like them?” Teagan said taking a bite and shrugging her shoulders.
“They’re
interesting, not bad but not good either,” I explained.
“Yeah,
this is probably the best my brother has ever made,” she said. “He doesn't actually use directions, he just does what he thinks is write.”
“Well,
I guess so,” I said.
“The
boy has got creativity though and that’s all that really matters,” she said.
“Yeah,”
I said with a sigh. That’s all that really matters. I really wish that were the
truth, then maybe everyone would be able to get along.
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