Because my mom had gotten mad at me (won't tell you what for), but whenever she does, I always write a letter to her, because it's much easier for me to put down my thoughts like that rather than speak them out loud.
*disclaimer* Please note, this may confuse you, amuse you, or make you mad. Viewer discretion is advised.
Dear Mommy Stalin,
In today's edition of "Lovely Whines: Let's Criticize Her" we will reach topics that have been reached before. WAIT! And that's not all, you also get bonus content with Lovely's opinions that don't actually matter, but the editors thought we should add it anyway.
Stay tuned after the break!
*commercial break*
Commercial 1: You're probably wondering why you were called Mommy Stalin. Well, Stalin was a fascist dictator, which is basically what you were embodying in your family dinner movie "Anxiety is Fake" starring you as the autocratic matriarch in charge of Lovely starring as misunderstood/socially unacceptable loser. :D That was a great movie! I especially love the part where you take the loser's computer away.
Commercial 2: Are you still here??? Ok! Good! idk about you, but at the rate tuition at 4 year colleges is going, you'll be lucky if your daughter makes it in. Of course, in a fascist world, that stuff doesn't matter. What is the source of your daughter's education? Surely not a scroll she had to write on in calligraphy by getting information from the encyclo-what-ia? LOL, it's not that, it's the computer. Something so little, yet so powerful. Perhaps more powerful than fascism, but you'll have to get some other opinions from the Dictator Damsels Club (a club just for moms like you! Sign up free @ *insert fake website here*) Now, I, the narrator, not your daughter, believes computers are important for success. Use them correctly and they are your friend. I bet Stalin wouldn't use a computer lol. Got synergy?
Commercial 3: Well, do you? Do you have synergy? That's when you're so healthy, you feel great. Hwever, fascists everywhere do not get enough synergy due to lack of perspective and aesthetic. With your monthly donation you can help fascists everywhere gain synergy, so they can have open-minds and true aesthetic. If you aren't doing this for the aesthetic...then what ARE you doing it for? *suspicious stare*
AND WE'RE BACK WITH THIS EDITION OF "Lovely Whines: Let's Criticize Her" brought to you in part by social anxiety disorder, because hiding in the corner matters.
Today's first topic: FASCISM
Isn't this swell? :) We live in a country where we can have our own thoughts, opinions, and actions. Unfortunately, due to a recent outbreak of Stalinitis, parens everywhere are dictating their children. Even worse, NO VACCINE! That must suck for kids with opinions! Yeah, no kidding! This Stalinitis outbreak is so bad I forgot what an opinion was! Does that mean I like bananas...or not? Lol, as if that matters! This is Dictatorland now! Wow, swell! You know who else must suffer from this horrible disease? Kids with social anxiety. Now that Stalinitis has taken over, they MUST face their fears, even get made fun of for having this disorder. Lol, and that's NOT offensive *reference to last week's episode where Jaylen whines about what is and isn't offensive*. It's truly sad, but we'll reach that topic later. For now, sit on your couch like the potato you are and wait for the show to come back on.
Before we bring you these message we'd like to quote Mommy Stalin. It's not one of her best quotes, but it'll do: "You didn't even enjoy your meal, stop lying to yourself." Quite sad, but definitely what she said. Lovely would like to whine in a more melancholy way now. Here is her statement in response to the statement above: "Yes, I did enjoy my meal. You know why? Because God gave it to me and I am very privileged to have that meal. There are people who can't even get a meal and you're telling me I DIDN'T enjoy it? =/ That doesn't even make sense. Of course I enjoyed it!"
Now on to the next message!
Commercial 1: Do you have social anxiety disorder? If so, call 1-888-ANX-IETY to set an appointment. *girl in commercial calls hotline* Hello, anxiety hotline, I've been criticized and I can't get up! WELL, WE CAN HELP. See YOU understand how it is to feel like every move you make is heading towards a fatal mistake. Understandable. *girl in commercial* I've been made fun of for having a panic attack. WOW, ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE S.A.D. WOULD DO THAT. *girl in commercial* What can I do? NOTHING, BE YOURSELF *girl in commercial* But...Stalinitis??? *dial tone*
Commercial 2: Doesn't it suck when you're made fun of for something you can't help?! I'm surprised anyone with OCD would do such a thing to someone with SAD. Yes, what has the world come to! *sad sigh* Aesthetic Man to the rescue!
Hi kids! I'm Aesthetic Man and I say be yourself.
Remember aesthetic is everything!~ <3
Alright and we're back. These last two messages were brought to you by aesthetic, because if no one else can see it's ok to be yourself, then you're going to have to be the one to do that.
Today's second, but minimally explained topic: Social Anxiety Disorder.
Lovely whine's about her symptom's, let's criticize them
Lovely: I get really overwhelmed.
Criticism: Excuse to get out of something
Lovely: Sometimes my chest tightens.
Criticism: That's just nervousness, freak.
Lovely: I feel like crying when forced into social situations.
Criticism: LOL, stupid attention seeker, get a life!
Lovely: I'm very hesitant when talking/asking questions.
Criticism: No you want people to do things for you.
Lovely: No one understands me.
Criticism: Yeah, because you're weird
Lovely: Insecure when talking/out in public. It's as if everyone's watching.
Criticism: But no one likes/cares about you so it doesn't even matter.
Well, that was enjoyable. It's fun not to ask questions about how someone truly feels. Instead let's break people down until they can't take it anymore. In which case you can call 1-888-ANX-IETY or just be yourself and embrace it like no one else will.
And our last topic comes right after this brief message.
Commercial 1:
You can save big on aesthetic, when you realize fascism is not for you! Switch today and we'll give you a $100 bonus cash that you can't actually use, but we'll trick you into thinking you can...but you have aesthetic, so you'll find it wonderful!
And our last topic: Aesthetic
Lovely doesn't vocalize it, but she has become very aesthetic this past year. Basically, she sees the beauty in everything, so anything you tell her really can't hurt her. All she wants to be is a happy girl in an aesthetic world. it's great, because she's finally come to value and stand by her opinions and actions. That is truly great, because so many people can't do that.
She's very young, but
Has realized that
Life is too short
To live without happiness
So if you want to
Get mad/sad at her
Fine
But remember
There is aesthetic
Waiting for you
Lovely whined about aesthetic, let's criticize her for it. :D
Bonus Material:
I don't feel like I should state any more of my opinions in real life nor should I not do what you say (because fascism).
I guess it's bad to be myself (because social anxiety).
"Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" is a 1953 comedy musical (with some romance as well) based on the 1949 musical of the same name, which was based on the 1925 novel by Anita Loos. There is also a 1928 silent film adaptation of the novel as well (hopefully I can watch that one, too).
Basically, the movie is about Lorelei Lee, the dumb blonde looking for someone rich, and Dorothy Shaw, the witty brunette looking for love. The two are showgirls and when Gus Edmund, Lorelei's fiance, sends them out on a cruise to France, the story begins from there.
Ok, so that was not a very good description, but it truly is the basic plot, I would not like to ruin the rest for you. I say watch it, because once they get on the cruise it gets really exciting from there. I was only watching it for Marilyn Monroe, but it turned out to be a really funny and entertaining movie.
Cast: Marilyn Monroe as Lorelei Lee (Gosh, she plays the dumb blonde role very well.) Jane Russell as Dorothy Shaw (She's a really good actress, too. XD She was very funny.) Charles Courbon as Sir Francis "Piggy" Beekman (He gave me the creeps) Elliot Reed as Ernie Malone (Loved him, then hated him, and then loved him again) Tommy Noonan as Gus Edmund (He was so adorable in a nerdy, shy way) George Winslow as Henry Spofford III (he's such a minimal character, but I wanted to add him in here, because he is the cutest part of the movie and his scenes are very funny)
Alright, done with the cast. This movie is really about best friends and how opposites attract and that's what I really liked about it. Costumes were great I mean Marilyn looked 10/10 in all of them.
Acting was spot on, music was great, and plot and execution of plot were great.
There's also a tiny scene spoken in French, but you'll understand what's being said in context to what's going on in the film.
I'm giving this movie 10/10. It's not even because I'm biased towards Marilyn Monroe, because I saw a movie with her before this one and it was so bad I couldn't believe it =/
So yes, this movie is excellent and I recommend you watch it. Here is the trailer of the movie. I hope you guys watch.
Rather they are quite random and have no significance, unless you are obsessed with me, which I would find hard to believe as I really have no substance. Well, I took these from this website and I will restate them right here for you guys. This post will probably be super long and I was thinking of making audio, but I'm way to awkward for that. I mean if you've ever heard my covers you will hear how awkward I sound when I'm introducing the song, so that's a no no. Please enjoy this long, nonsensical post and perhaps get a few laughs out of it (I haven't read the questions yet, so I have no idea what's going to come as I post this).
Q1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
A1: Open, because I turn on the light in there so I can find my way around my super dark room. It's like pitch black if the closet light isn't on, so it's sort of necessary that my closet is open.
Q2: Do you take shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels?
A2: YES! YES! YES! I mean what good is it to just leave it there? They probably switch them out right?! Of course, I'm taking that. It's sometimes really good brands, too, like don't mind if I do!
Q3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
A3: Well, I'm guessing that's the thing that covers the mattress, right? I actually don't call it that. My whole life, it's been called a sábana, so that's what I've always associated that with. My bed sheets are tucked out.
Q4: Have you stolen a street sign before?
A4: What the--? What kind of question is this? No, why would I do that?! Who does that?
Q5: Do you like to use post-it notes?
A5: Only when annotating for books, personally, I'd much rather organize my notes into a journal. It's just easier that way for me. Plus, I have as much space as I need to gather my thoughts, whereas a post-it note is pretty small (unless you get the big kind, which I don't).
Q6: Do you cut out coupons but never use them?
A6: No, I cut them out and use them. I love deals. They stay on the coupon sheet unless I'm planning on using them.
Q7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
A7: Ugh, bee attacks sound really painful and I've never been stung by a bee, so you can imagine how I'll feel being stung for the first time by a bunch of them. The bear attack idk if I could outrun that thing and trick it, but I'm willing to take the chance that I can. Plus, if I was out in the woods, I might have some protection right? Weapons? Idk. Big bear sounds better.
Q8: Do you have freckles?
A8: No.
Q9: Do you always smile for pictures?
A9: When someone's taking them yes. When I'm taking them for myself, no. I mostly always smile, but sometimes I like to see my face with different expressions. It's just artistic. =/
Q10: What is your biggest pet peeve?
A10: When people copy me in class. I'd get it if you asked to copy, but just looking over my shoulder and copying me is so totally annoying! Even worse, is when people just take my paper when they see I finish writing something down.
Q11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
A11: Sometimes, but I reach like twenty and stop because I find something else amusing.
Q12: Have you peed in the woods?
A12: I've never been camping, so no. I have pissed my pants in the car before, does that count?
Q13: Have you ever pooped in the woods?
A12: Again, never been camping, so no. I've never pooped myself out of the bathroom after being potty trained, which is good, lol.
Q14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
A14: I don't like dancing in general, so if there is no music playing, I really wouldn't have a need to dance at all. I only dance when I'm by myself in my room, listening to rock music. All you have to do to dance to rock music is jump around and headbang. I can dance to other music, I just prefer rock. Lol, that wasn't even the question...been overanalyzing everything since 2010.
Q15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?
A15: Eww, no. I do chew straws sometimes, but that's from anxiety (which I'm guessing is the same for the pens/pencils scenario, but no, I find that gross, imagine lending someone a chewed pencil/pen).
Q16: How many people have you slept with this week?
A16: Zero plus I would never. I'm still a teen and I find that gross =/
Q17: What size is your bed?
A17: It's two twin beds stuck together.
Q18: What is your song of the week?
A18: "Booty Swing" by Parov Stelar.
Q19: Is it OK for guys to wear pink?
A19: If they're confident about it, then totally yeah. Jimmy Urine has been rocking pink since the beginning of Mindless Self Indulgence, and I find him extremely hot for it.
Q20: Do you still watch cartoons?
A20: Yes, I love cartoons.
Q21: What is your least favorite movie?
A21: Hmm, let's see if I can remember...oh yeah, "16 Candles." Hate that movie, hate the characters (except the asian guy, forgot his name), and I hate the main actress. =/ That movie is so ew.
Q22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
A22: In my backyard. That's so classic.
Q23: What do you drink with dinner?
A23: Orange juice or soda, depends on what I'm having.
Q24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
A24: Ranch or buffalo sauce, both are equally good. Sometimes I like to mix the two sauces and dip like that.
Q25: What is your favorite food?
A25: Burgers (pretty much any kind, but if there's a burger with mushrooms in it, I would prefer that over most).
Q26: What movies could you watch over and over again and still love?
A26:
"Metropolis (1927)"
"Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close"
"South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut"
"Smart House" (lol, one of those D****y channel movies that I loved a bunch)
"27 Dresses"
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show"
"The Omen"
"Carrie"
"Zombieland"
Probably a bunch more romantic comedies that I can't remember as well.
Q27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?
A27: I have never been kissed before.
Q28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
A28: No.
Q29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
A29: No, I would never do that, I have morals. I feel like if the whole world has seen my body, who cares what else I keep secret. The body is sacred and should only be for you and whoever else you feel comfortable sharing it with. Although, I wouldn't mind posing in swimsuits or as a pinup. That would be fine with me, just so long as I am comfortable, that is my main priority. I wouldn't mind something like this:
Q30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
A30: Last night (7.24.15), to my mom.
Q31: Can you change the oil on a car?
A31: No
Q32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
A32: No. I don't drive.
Q33: What's your favorite kind of sandwich?
A33: =/ Does a burger count? lol, I like Italian subs.
Q34: Ever ran out of gas?
A34: Again, don't drive. I've never been in a car that has run out of gas, though.
Q35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?
A35: Eggs and bacon
Q36: What is your usual bedtime?
A36: 12:00 a.m. - 2:00 a.m. and during the school year 11:00 p.m.
Q37: Are you lazy?
A37: Not really.
Q38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
A38:
2003: Tinkerbell
2004: I forgot
2005: I forgot
2006: Vampire
2007: Witch
2008: Again, a witch
2009: I forgot, zombie???
2010: Pocahontas
2011: I forgot
2012: Zombie clown??? (lol, I just painted my face I think)
2013: Stan Marsh
2014: Harley Quinn
2015: Hasn't come up, but am planning on something cool (pop art girl maybe?)
Q39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?
A39: Dragon
Q40: How many languages can you speak?
A40: 2, English and Spanish. I can't really speak Spanish, but I can read, write, and understand it. Speaking it is my problem.
Q41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
A41: No
Q42: Which are better: legos or lincoln logs?
A42: Legos
Q43: Are you stubborn?
A43: Yeah, it's hard to convince me things otherwise you have a really good argument, and I mean really good. If you give me general comments or attacking statements, I'm not going to listen to you.
Q44: Who is better: Leno or Letterman?
A44: I don't watch late time shows, so this question really wouldn't pertain to me.
Q45: Ever watch soap operas?
A45: I used to watch Spanish soaps when I was little. I sometimes watched Korean soaps when I was in middle school, but now not so much. I would like to go back to Korean soaps though, they're really cool and they're a much better change to the usual Spanish soaps I see my mom and grandmother watching.
Q46: Are you afraid of heights?
A46: Yes a lot. I'll go on rollercoasters though, but I try not to look down or think about how high I am.
Q47: Do you sing in the car?
A47: Yes.
Q48: Do you sing in the shower?
A48: Yes.
Q49: Do you dance in the car?
A49: No.
Q50: Ever used a gun?
A50: No.
Q51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
A51: When I was a baby, it's really cute.
Q52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?
A52: Nope, I love them.
Q53: Is Christmas stressful?
A53: Right now, it's not. Idk what will happen when I'm older and am expected to give out gifts, but for now it's smooth sailing. Remember though, it's the most wonderful time of the year.
Q54: Ever eat a pierogi?
A54: Wtf is that? *looks it up* So it's like a potsticker? I've eaten potstickers, so does that mean I've eaten a pierogi???
Q55: Favorite type of fruit pie?
A55: Pumpkin
Q56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
A56:
Chef (I watched a lot of Food Network)
Actor (lol, idk, why, I like movies a lot that could be it)
Ballerina (I took ballet)
Gymnast (I took gymnastics)
Doctor (I feel like everyone wants to be a doctor at least once when they're a kid)
Q57: Do you believe in ghosts?
A57: I'd have to see it to believe it. I've never seen one so no, I don't believe in ghosts.
Q58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
A58: Yeah. Multiple times.
Q59: Do you take a vitamin daily?
A59: What's a vitamin? No.
Q60: Do you wear slippers?
A60: Yes. Hello Kitty slippers to be exact.
Q61: Do you wear a bath robe?
A61: No.
Q62: What do you wear to bed?
A62: Whatever I wore in the morning.
Q63: What was your first concert?
A63: I've never been to a concert.
Q64: Walmart, Target, or Kmart?
A64: Target
Q65: Nike or Adidas?
A65: Adidas
Q66: Cheetos or Fritos?
A66: Fritos
Q67: Peanuts or sunflower seeds?
A67: Neither
Q68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
A68: No. =/
Q69: Ever take dance lessons?
A69: Yes, ballet and hip-
Q70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
A70: Music, art, or writing...or a normal, but totally stable job (like being a doctor/lawyer/businessman/something like that?) or maybe an athlete??? I really don't care about occupations, so long as it's not something like working at a fast food place, lol.
Q71: Can you curl your tongue?
A71: Yes. =)
Q72: Ever won a spelling bee?
A72: Yeah, like three times.
Q73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
A73: Actually no. Well, sometimes when I watch movies/read books with really happy endings, I cry.
Q74: Own any record albums?
A74: No sadly.
Q75: Own a record player?
A75: No sadly.
Q76: Do you regularly burn incense?
A76: No.
Q77: Ever been in love?
A77: I've had lots of crushes that I thought was "love," but the real thing, no.
Q78: Who would you like to see in concert?
A78: Mindless Self Indulgence
Q79: What was the last concert you ever saw?
A79: Never. =(
Q80: Hot tea or cold tea?
A80: Raspberry ice tea, sweetened kind you know the Lipton one.
Q81: Tea or coffee?
A81: Coffee!!!!!!
Q82: Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles?
A82: Neither
Q83: Can you swim well?
A83: Yeah =D I love swimming.
Q84: Can you hold your breath without holding your noise?
A84: Yes. For a very long time too.
Q85: Are you patient?
A85: Yes, unless I get extremely bored in which case get me the hell out of wherever I am!
Q86: DJ or band at a wedding?
A86: lol, if I had a band I would play at my own wedding and if my husband was in that band it'd be like our first jam session after being married. Cute, right? If not, well, then DJ but I'd just make a playlist in my computer and use that at the place. =/ I'm not big on DJ's playing "the latest hits."
Q87: Ever won a contest?
A87: Yeah a lot of times, but they're tiny things. It doesn't amount to winning a contest, like against other talented people. =/
Q88: Have you ever had plastic surgery?
A88: No and I am never planning on having it unless it's something that could save my life.
Q89: Which are better: black or green olives?
A89: Ew, olives are gross.
Q90: Can you knit or crochet?
A90: I can knit, with my fingers. I've made scarves with my fingers before it's cool.
Q91: Best room for a fireplace?
A91: Living room, duh.
Q92: Do you want to get married?
A92: Yes and no. I don't actually want to be marked as married on paper. Ew, the whole having to get the city's approval (why, idk), whole having a responsibility, whole "what if I get divorced" thing, no. Don't want to deal with that. But yeah, getting a wedding dress and having a nice "we're staying together forever" kind of thing sounds awesome. =D
Q93: If married, how long have you been married?
A93: Yeah, not married lol.
Q94: Who was your high school crush?
A94: This little Muslim kid, who was shorter than me, had glasses, had freckles (oh so cute!), brown hair, white skin (so I did not think he was Muslim until I found out XD), and I was so crazy over him. I realized I am crazy... =/ Love is not for me.
Q95: Do you cry and throw a fit when you don't get your way?
A95: Actually, sometimes, yeah. =/ It's just very subtle, but you can tell it's got a whiny feel to it.
Q96: Do you have kids?
A96: NO! =D
Q97: Do you want kids?
A96: Nope.
Q98: What is your favorite color?
A98: Black.
Q99: Do you miss anyone right now?
A99: Yeah, my friends from middle school and some others </3
