Letter 7.23.15

So I Wrote This Letter the Other Day...

Because my mom had gotten mad at me (won't tell you what for), but whenever she does, I always write a letter to her, because it's much easier for me to put down my thoughts like that rather than speak them out loud.

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*disclaimer* Please note, this may confuse you, amuse you, or make you mad. Viewer discretion is advised.

Dear Mommy Stalin,

In today's edition of "Lovely Whines: Let's Criticize Her" we will reach topics that have been reached before. WAIT! And that's not all, you also get bonus content with Lovely's opinions that don't actually matter, but the editors thought we should add it anyway.

Stay tuned after the break!

*commercial break*

Commercial 1: You're probably wondering why you were called Mommy Stalin. Well, Stalin was a fascist dictator, which is basically what you were embodying in your family dinner movie "Anxiety is Fake" starring you as the autocratic matriarch in charge of Lovely starring as misunderstood/socially unacceptable loser. :D That was a great movie! I especially love the part where you take the loser's computer away.

Commercial 2: Are you still here??? Ok! Good! idk about you, but at the rate tuition at 4 year colleges is going, you'll be lucky if your daughter makes it in. Of course, in a fascist world, that stuff doesn't matter. What is the source of your daughter's education? Surely not a scroll she had to write on in calligraphy by getting information from the encyclo-what-ia? LOL, it's not that, it's the computer. Something so little, yet so powerful. Perhaps more powerful than fascism, but you'll have to get some other opinions from the Dictator Damsels Club (a club just for moms like you! Sign up free @ *insert fake website here*) Now, I, the narrator, not your daughter, believes computers are important for success. Use them correctly and they are your friend. I bet Stalin wouldn't use a computer lol. Got synergy?

Commercial 3: Well, do you? Do you have synergy? That's when you're so healthy, you feel great. Hwever, fascists everywhere do not get enough synergy due to lack of perspective and aesthetic. With your monthly donation you can help fascists everywhere gain synergy, so they can have open-minds and true aesthetic. If you aren't doing this for the aesthetic...then what ARE you doing it for? *suspicious stare*

AND WE'RE BACK WITH THIS EDITION OF "Lovely Whines: Let's Criticize Her" brought to you in part by social anxiety disorder, because hiding in the corner matters.

Today's first topic: FASCISM

Isn't this swell? :) We live in a country where we can have our own thoughts, opinions, and actions. Unfortunately, due to a recent outbreak of Stalinitis, parens everywhere are dictating their children. Even worse, NO VACCINE! That must suck for kids with opinions! Yeah, no kidding! This Stalinitis outbreak is so bad I forgot what an opinion was! Does that mean I like bananas...or not? Lol, as if that matters! This is Dictatorland now! Wow, swell! You know who else must suffer from this horrible disease? Kids with social anxiety. Now that Stalinitis has taken over, they MUST face their fears, even get made fun of for having this disorder. Lol, and that's NOT offensive *reference to last week's episode where Jaylen whines about what is and isn't offensive*. It's truly sad, but we'll reach that topic later. For now, sit on your couch like the potato you are and wait for the show to come back on.

Before we bring you these message we'd like to quote Mommy Stalin. It's not one of her best quotes, but it'll do: "You didn't even enjoy your meal, stop lying to yourself." Quite sad, but definitely what she said. Lovely would like to whine in a more melancholy way now. Here is her statement in response to the statement above: "Yes, I did enjoy my meal. You know why? Because God gave it to me and I am very privileged to have that meal. There are people who can't even get a meal and you're telling me I DIDN'T enjoy it? =/ That doesn't even make sense. Of course I enjoyed it!"

Now on to the next message!

Commercial 1: Do you have social anxiety disorder? If so, call 1-888-ANX-IETY to set an appointment. *girl in commercial calls hotline* Hello, anxiety hotline, I've been criticized and I can't get up! WELL, WE CAN HELP. See YOU understand how it is to feel like every move you make is heading towards a fatal mistake. Understandable. *girl in commercial* I've been made fun of for having a panic attack. WOW, ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE S.A.D. WOULD DO THAT. *girl in commercial* What can I do? NOTHING, BE YOURSELF *girl in commercial* But...Stalinitis??? *dial tone*

Commercial 2: Doesn't it suck when you're made fun of for something you can't help?! I'm surprised anyone with OCD would do such a thing to someone with SAD. Yes, what has the world come to! *sad sigh* Aesthetic Man to the rescue!

Hi kids! I'm Aesthetic Man and I say be yourself.

Remember aesthetic is everything!~ <3

Alright and we're back. These last two messages were brought to you by aesthetic, because if no one else can see it's ok to be yourself, then you're going to have to be the one to do that.

Today's second, but minimally explained topic: Social Anxiety Disorder.

Lovely whine's about her symptom's, let's criticize them

Lovely: I get really overwhelmed.

Criticism: Excuse to get out of something

Lovely: Sometimes my chest tightens.

Criticism: That's just nervousness, freak.

Lovely: I feel like crying when forced into social situations.

Criticism: LOL, stupid attention seeker, get a life!

Lovely: I'm very hesitant when talking/asking questions.

Criticism: No you want people to do things for you.

Lovely: No one understands me.

Criticism: Yeah, because you're weird

Lovely: Insecure when talking/out in public. It's as if everyone's watching.

Criticism: But no one likes/cares about you so it doesn't even matter.

Well, that was enjoyable. It's fun not to ask questions about how someone truly feels. Instead let's break people down until they can't take it anymore. In which case you can call 1-888-ANX-IETY or just be yourself and embrace it like no one else will.

And our last topic comes right after this brief message.

Commercial 1:

You can save big on aesthetic, when you realize fascism is not for you! Switch today and we'll give you a $100 bonus cash that you can't actually use, but we'll trick you into thinking you can...but you have aesthetic, so you'll find it wonderful!

And our last topic: Aesthetic

Lovely doesn't vocalize it, but she has become very aesthetic this past year. Basically, she sees the beauty in everything, so anything you tell her really can't hurt her. All she wants to be is a happy girl in an aesthetic world. it's great, because she's finally come to value and stand by her opinions and actions. That is truly great, because so many people can't do that.

She's very young, but

Has realized that

Life is too short

To live without happiness

So if you want to

Get mad/sad at her

Fine

But remember

There is aesthetic

Waiting for you

Lovely whined about aesthetic, let's criticize her for it. :D

Bonus Material:

I don't feel like I should state any more of my opinions in real life nor should I not do what you say (because fascism).

I guess it's bad to be myself (because social anxiety).

It's fine though (because aesthetic).

More on back: Enjoy!~

(and here was what was on the back, a picture)