Feelings 3.9.15

Remember That Kid I Liked...

Well, he blocked me online on that one site. Isn't that great? How wonderful! I thought he was different, too. I thought he was a nice genuine person and that's why it didn't bother me that he didn't like me. Now, knowing that he's not even nice, because he didn't really have a reason to block me. I haven't talked to him in so long that I forgot about him in my heart. I never lost sight of him, but I never thought of him as mine anymore. I'm just so down because of this and I don't understand why. I think the fact that no boy has ever liked me is why I'm so down. No boy has ever told me that I'm pretty or that they like like me or any of those other cheesy things. Not one. Not ever and I believe that it will never happen. I don't want you guys to feel bad for me, because I'm strong and I don't need it. I just need you to read this and think about it for yourselves. Do you really want to be with anybody if you think no one will like you for you? I just couldn't be someone else and I'm not sorry if I approach guys really straightforward, because you know what! It's me and if you can't love me for me, then why should I love you back. All I ever wanted was someone who could talk to me about whatever it was they wanted, it didn't necessarily have to be a boyfriend it just had to be someone who I felt a close connection with. I'm not anything that guys want so I doubt any boy will ever like me, but I don't mind. I can be by myself. I'll go through heartbreak after heartbreak and I'll still stand strong, because it shows that even if I stand alone I'm just as good as people who have that other person who helps them to be strong.

It's really funny how all the nice people are staring you right in the face, but you decide not to get to know them. It's amazing how people never try to get to know someone, because they have this already have this whole opinion formulated about them. If you ever read this M******, I really do hope you think about it next time, because it's too late now. As if you even care right. *smiles* Have a nice life and I really do mean that. I want to look back and say, "Yeah, I liked him. What a stud, but he was a jerk."